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TAXPAYER OF THE YEAR, 2005

December 28, 2005

The competition was stiff this year for the prestigious Tax Update "Taxpayer of the Year" designation. 2005 brought us the indictment of Richard Hatch, the underdressed Survivor, on tax charges; the spectacle of Dennis Kozlowski, the former Tyco exec, telling a judge how he plumb forgot about $25 million dollars of income when he signed his 1040; and Glenn Hightower, who chose to fight a $7.9 million federal tax assessment in Tax Court without a lawyer. Their efforts, distinguished as they are, still pale next to that of our winner, Mr. Willy Wetzel, who achieves our honor posthumously. Mr. Wetzel is the 2005 Taxpayer of the year because he died in a martial-arts battle with his tax preparer. The story is told in a case involving Mr. Wetzel's life insurance policy:

Willy Wetzel and his son, Roy Wetzel, were experts in the martial arts, including karate, and operated a [martial arts] school.... On the day of Willy Wetzel's death, Roy had been working on his father's income tax return. Willy visited his son and began reading the completed tax forms....As Willy Wetzel started to sign the tax forms, he threw the pen against the drapes and began to scream obscenities. He walked toward the front door mumbling that he was going to lose his house, car and everything. Grabbing a Hawaiian sword, Willy Wetzel turned and let out a battle cry called a "kewah." The fight began.

Willy began to remove the sword from its case when Roy attempted to grab the case. Willy kicked Roy and the sword was bent in half. The hand-to-hand fight continued for approximately twenty-five minutes. Roy made several attempts to reach the telephone to call for help, but was stopped each time by his father's tactics. Finally, Roy placed nanchukas sticks, used in karate, around his father's head to try to render him unconscious. Shortly after that Roy realized his father was dead.

The Moral: always be nice to your tax preparer.

Thanks to the TaxProf for alerting us to this story.

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