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WE LEFT THE DOOR OPEN, BUT NOBODY WENT INTO THE SAFE

January 25, 2006

The IRS has told Tax Analysts that serious security weaknesses in IRS computer systems had not resulted in unauthorized access of computer systems:

“The IRS has no evidence, after reviewing our audit logs and reviewing our processes and system configurations, that any IRS data was improperly accessed by any unauthorized individuals, either internal or external to the government,” IRS spokesman Bruce Friedland said.

When asked why "Spot Friedland" and "Tabby Friedland" were claimed as dependents on his returns after graduating from college, but not after social security numbers were required for dependents, Friedland said "Who told you?" He refused further comment, and did not respond to questions about why his wife deducted trips to the day spa as medical expenses.

(it's a joke, son.)

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