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WE'RE CLUELESS. PLEASE PROVIDE ONE ON THE ATTACHED FORM

May 18, 2005

A real live letter from the Iowa Department of Revenue and Finance:

esp.JPG
(Click on letter for larger version)

Short version:

-We lost your tax returns.
-We can't find them.
-Please explain what we did with them.

We have a number of potential responses in mind - "I'll tell you where you put my return if you can tell me why she never called me back. Signed, P.P." - that sort of thing.

We invite you to suggest responses in the comments. Keep it clean!

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Comments

Dear IDORF,

I am in receipt of your letter of April 8, 2005 however I have since lost it. Accordingly, I am unable to respond substantively. Please provide me an explanation for this oversight in the next 20 calendar days.

Hugs & Kisses,

Taxpayer.

Dear IDORF,

I am unable to locate my tax return checks from 1999, 2000, and 2001. The aggregate total is $1,755,207.58. Please reissue same at your earliest convenience with an explanation as to this apparent oversight on your part.

Me love you long time,

Taxpayer

Dear IDORF,

In response to your request for my prior years' tax returns I have enclosed same for your review. As to an explanation for your failure to maintain such records as required by law and common sense, I am unable to offer anything other than lay medical advice.

For instance, you may be suffering from something called rectal-cranial inversion syndrome. It is quite common and treatable. If you smell something nasty and are unable to see due to perennial darkness you should go see your physician immediately.

Rots of Ruv,

Dear Leader Kim Jong Il

*snik*

Chad, is that a disability? I thought it was a DOR hiring requirement?

Email: roth@rothcpa.com  •  Phone: (515) 244-0266
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